Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
