so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
