can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize