There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
