what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
how does that bad decision feel?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
