come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I skipped work to stalk him.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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