I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Randomize
