Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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