make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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