Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
