my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
