I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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