yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize