no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
