They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
