I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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