I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Randomize
