Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
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