btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
