i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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