Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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