pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
