You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I party with great urgency now.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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