We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
