Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
