Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
my liver is dry heaving
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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