WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
