don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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