you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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