Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
did i just pee glitter
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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