I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
