Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Randomize