Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
