where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
