do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
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