Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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