my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
