Fine. I'll sleep in my office
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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