He is an equal opportunity slut.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
