writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Randomize
