we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
