69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
