I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Randomize
