You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
