Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Randomize
