I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
