is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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