Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
