I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
