If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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