My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
