Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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