OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Sex in the backyard? Check.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
