I heard we made out
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
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