honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
