Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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