3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
