fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize