A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
