i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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