just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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