Tell her she can't have a vagina
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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