Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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